He is My Lord
My name is Samuel Mok and I am 20 this year. There was a time when I never properly understood God and the significance of learning meaningful lessons from the scriptures. But I want to share about how the Lord played a part in opening my heart to Him.
The Lord I First Knew
I grew up in a Christian family and attended a Methodist church near my home prior to coming to Bethany. While I did go for Sunday School, I hardly stayed for any of the 3 morning worship services there. What mattered then was to learn enough about the Lord to know that He exists. At first, it didn’t occur to me that I was not resolute in learning more about this faith I supposedly follow. Yet, I still kept a regular attendance, though rather reluctantly on most occasions.
Meanwhile, I was not seeking to apply what I had learnt in church, especially in cultivating a committed prayer life. By not seeking Him in prayer, I drifted from God. It was a serious backsliding problem coupled with subtle sins, like harbouring a complaining spirit. It seemed as though this ‘textbook’ knowledge of the Lord and scriptures left me spiritually dry and estranged from Him. Neither was I impacted to commit to Him or change my ignorant ways. However, that changed when I started attending Bethany.
The Lord Who Opened My Heart
Bethany was no stranger to me because my relatives on my mother’s side, which include Teachers Carol and Liwei, are church members. From my first visit at my grandmother’s wake and funeral to regularly attending the Easter and Christmas worship services, I got a glimpse of how the church members are deeply committed to service in the church.
After completing JC in 2014, I went for that year’s Youth Conference, where Pastor taught us to be steadfast and unashamed in our faith in God. It was then I first became aware of His mercies through all my challenges, and I was deeply moved from Paul’s letters of the Lord’s undying love for His children, even though they have drifted away. They included theme verse from the Youth Conference, which I have committed to memory:
“For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.”
– 2 Timothy 1:12
It humbled me to know that even an insensitive and irresponsible person like me can still be accepted in the eyes of the Lord. After the camp, I opened up my heart to let God enter my life. I spent more time referring back to the scriptures and seeking the Lord in prayer. This also led to me offering greater and more frequent thanksgivings to the Lord than before.
The Lord Whom I Believe In
I was keen to commit my faith and service to God in Bethany, especially after seeing the church members help in various ministries, like the cleaning ministry. However, as I was still jumping between two churches, I found it hard to mature in my faith. The Lord spoke to my heart and taught me PATIENCE, because I needed to be focused on the truth if I was to take this next step of my spiritual journey, instead of rushing to ‘serve blindly’. One of the doubts I really needed to confirm is what the Lord and His works truly meant to me; a potential servant in His spiritual home.
Finally, at the end of May 2015, I decided to attend my first Sunday Worship at Bethany. A few Combined Sunday School sessions and Morning Worship messages later, I learnt how to LEAVE BEHIND my old self in my previous church and MOVE ON forward to focus on and follow the Lord. Despite leaving old church friends and spending more time away from my family, the Lord helped me find greater joy and fulfilment in worshipping Him wholeheartedly. YPG and Bible Study sessions also allowed me to build up on and be enriched by new lessons from the scriptures. In particular, spiritual maturity in ourselves, oneness with the brethren in worship and service, and finding joy in the Lord’s word and works stood out to me most. Slowly, I found the Lord to be my spiritual teacher and I began relating to Him better. Each new lesson from the Word also brought me another step closer to baptism.
The Lord Whom I Serve
Spiritually nourished and settled, I began singing in the Youth Choir and assisted in setting up the fellowship hall for Sunday Worship. Despite this, the thought of baptism was still challenging, as I was not fully sure I was ready to commit my life to Bethany. However, at Family Camp this year, Pastor’s consecration message challenged us to keep pressing on in search of faith. For the second time, the revelation of new truths from the Lord filled my heart with a renewed sense of HOPE. As I reflected back on my spiritual walk and how the Lord guided me thus far, I realised I have found redemption by His blood and strength from the Holy Spirit since stepping into Bethany. The Lord really is my shepherd. He watched over me, a lost sheep, in my search of faith and now he leads me on the path of righteousness and reassurance. It was this turning point that ultimately cemented my decision to be baptised this Christmas.
I also discovered a more personal and valuable reason in seeking baptism. Being secure in my faith before I further my studies in the UK next year is indeed one of them, but I am also driven to have a committed and meaningful service to the Lord. I have come to embrace God as my spiritual Father, who helped enlighten my knowledge of faith through spiritual re-assessment. I relate to a verse in Ephesians, where Paul wrote of God lovingly accepting us into His kingdom as His children. Likewise, I am driven to respond by praising and serving in His name.
“In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.”
– Ephesians 1:11-12
Seeking baptism is my willing response to place my life in the Lord’s merciful hands and identify Him as my gracious and sovereign Heavenly Father, comforter and friend. This Christmas is the time I profess of the Lord’s ability to change my heart-hardened self into His unashamed, faithful servant through His Word. I am ever thankful to God for giving me a second chance to return to Him and it is this hope of redemption that He wants me to hold on to as I start the next phase of my journey of faith.